p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
