I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize