I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
