You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
