the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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