you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
cat food counts as protein by the way
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
