please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
