I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
