We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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