He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
