Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
