Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
