1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
