i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i dont even know how to be here
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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