all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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