I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
