Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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