idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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