Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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