No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize