try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
