i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
