i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
