so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
