What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Everclear isn't food dammit
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
