i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
