If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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