come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
