My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
