Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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