Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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