You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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