Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
