Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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