Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
pray to the hookup gods
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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