I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
