We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They took my balls.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
