I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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