i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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