Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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