I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
