haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
