booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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