scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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