so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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