Moan for me like Helen Keller
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
