The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
