Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
