Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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