so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
