Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
