New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
