first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
