if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize