I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
