it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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