is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
