i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
God, you're like boner-b-gone
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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