Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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