we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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