my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
