Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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