Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
