Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
