Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
