glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
