I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
